Take Charge of You: How Self-Coaching Can Transform Your Life and Careerby David Novak
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This self coaching manual has been written by David Novak, co founder of YUM brands and performance coach Jason Goldsmith. This book is a blueprint to take charge of you so that you can take yourself from where you are now to where you want to go. The authors are clear that each individual is unique and what works for one person does not necessarily work for next.

That’s the reason the first step in the process is the Self-Coaching Conversation where you ask yourself some key questions to gain a better understanding for how best to coach yourself. The conversation starts with a take charge action i.e. Find Your Joy Blockers where you ask yourself the question “What’s getting in the way of my joy?” and make the list of those things. Once you’ve the list made of your Joy Blockers then you move to next take charge action i.e. Find Your Joy Builders where you need to think about what would bring more joy into your life. Once you’ve made another list of your Joy Builders you need to select one that would make the biggest difference and that would take you to the next important take charge action i.e. Discover Your Single Biggest Thing, your SBT. Examples of SBT can be “become my own boss”, “go back to school” or finish writing my novel”. In order to motivate yourself to achieve your SBT you take help of next take charge action i.e. Envision Your Destination. Instead of thinking about how you’re going to accomplish your SBT, start with the end result in mind. Imagine what it would be like to have already reached your destination and accomplished your SBT. Now that you know what you need to focus on, you need a plan to achieve that.

But before you make a plan you need to Develop Self Coaching Mindset where you open yourself to growth. You need to make your mind open to whatever is going to drive your growth or performance, which means avoiding the trap of preconceived notions or prejudging what’s going to happen. Instead you need to continually search for the next insight that’s going to move you forward. First take charge action of this mindset change is Change Your Nots into Not Yets. This is a reframing technique to add ‘Yet’ to the end of a sentence. For example don’t say “I can’t run a marathon” but instead say “I can’t run a marathon yet”. Reframing is a time tested technique in psychology that helps to identify how we view a situation or experience and then change not the situation or experience, but the way we think about it. A belief in the possible is what we’re aiming for here, but not one that’s impervious to reality. We’re not talking about blind belief or wishful thinking but more like a belief paired with an ability to suspend judgement long enough to search for the insights needed to make good decisions. This leads to the next take charge action i.e. Put Yourself In A Neutral State where you’re not overly optimistic or pessimistic about a situation but are intent on finding new insights. Whatever works for you to get into that neutral state you’re free to pursue that e.g. meditation, journaling or prayer. Once you’re in the neutral state you’re ready for the next take charge action i.e Shift Your Focus To Balance Your Negatives with Positives. Your values and purpose will help you prioritise your choices by serving as guardrails as your continue your journey, helping to guide your decisions as you actively coach yourself towards your SBT.

Third step is perhaps most difficult as here you develop your Self-Coaching Plan. Now that you’ve discovered your SBT, you embark on uncovering transformational insights. To help you in that endeavour you need the next charge action i.e. Make Your Journey A Purposeful One. If your SBT feels aligned with your purpose and values, then great otherwise ask yourself why not? And make adjustments as needed. These adjustments will test you, hurt your ego and make you aware that you’re less than perfect and capable of making mistakes. Next take charge action will be sorely needed which is Practice Your Humility. You need to humbly acknowledge the assist you got from others and ground it in gratitude. By acknowledging publicly how others have helped in the past you will also inspire the people around you to provide you with even more assists in the future. This grounding in humility is needed as on this difficult journey you would need help and if you’re uncomfortable asking for help, try returning to the reframing technique, which asks us to change, not the situation, but the way we think about it. If you’re respectful and appreciative, most people will gladly help if they can. Also if you become avid learner then you can still gain insights from others even when you can’t ask them directly for advice. Now that you are clear on your SBT and have some insights into how you typically handle any roadblocks, you can now switch into problem solving mode.

The next step is execution of the plan i.e. Self-Coaching Journey. The first take charge action in this step is Turn Insight into Action. Here you gather together all the insights you gained either by your research or from talking to others and start turning those into actions to start moving closer to SBT. Brainstorm as many possible actions as you can but avoid the trap of feeling like your list has to be perfect. Journeys to new destinations never start off with perfectly complete roadmaps. You will find your way as you go. Here the next take charge action comes handy i.e Start Your Roadmap. Don’t be daunted by the territory you have to cover to achieve your SBT. Get into neutral frame of mind and look with clear eyes to get from one step to the other, you don’t need to cover it all at once. Now that you’ve started on this journey the next take charge action is really pertinent i.e. Track Your Progress. Write things down and check things off as you cover small milestones. That would keep you on track to cover the whole roadmap. When you’re tracking your progress focus on what works and what do you appreciate most about your efforts. Write those things down and ask yourself this question : How could you be even more effective. Keep working towards the final milestone till you achieve your SBT.

Last step in this process is to develop Self-Coaching Habit where you commit to constant improvement. Remember the words of Churchill when he said: Success is not final; failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts. No process is worth very much if it isn’t sustainable. So you need to keep yourself motivated, on track, and moving forward as you continue to coach your self to your Single Biggest Thing, and then on to greater and greater heights. This journey is not easy so take next charge action i.e Build Your Motivational Space. Here you pick a spot wherever it works for you, either in office or home or park which reminds you of your SBT. Visit this place often, and not just on difficult days when your motivation needs a boost. This will help you connect with your future vision, pay particular attention to how it will feel like to succeed. We all know the setbacks are coming even if we don’t know yet what they will be, so why not start remembering your successes. Take charge action and Create Your Personal Highlight Reel which is a kind of catalog of life’s most successful moments that you can turn to when you need them. They can server as motivation, proving that you are capable of doing big things. And keep raising the bar again and again. Once you’ve reached your SBT, there’s always going to be another peak to climb because growth and success are never ending prospects.

This is what life is really all about: our efforts to keep raising the bar, challenging ourselves by setting new sights and coaching ourselves to get better and better each and every day.

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